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Monica Seles: Dancing Queen

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Oh Monica…Please, say it isn’t so! I just want to remember you as the brilliant young woman who dominated woman’s tennis and literally changed the sport by blasting two-handed groundies at wicked angles past all comers. You were the first pure power hitter in woman’s tennis. When the going got tough, you coolly responded by hitting harder. On court, you were determined, feerless and fierce! Clearly a pioneer setting the bar high for today’s generation of power players. Had it not been for that nutcase in Germany, you easily could have become the greatest ever.

Now, just days after announcing your official retirement from competitive tennis, you tell us you are going to compete at ballroom dancing? Monica, are you thinking clearly? I do not recall footwork as exactly being your strongest asset. (See above photo) In fact, if there was any weakness in a game that won 9 Grand Slam singles titles, it was your movement. Len, Bruno and Carrie Ann will attack your movement more ferociously than Graf or Sanchez-Vicario ever did. Are you REALLY sure you want to subject yourself to those attacks?

On this stage you will be competing against the likes of gold medalist Kristi Yamaguchi, who in my opinion has a perfect resume for this type of competition. I can completely envision how Kristi’s experience, grace and technical brilliance will translate to the world of dance. Forgive me, but I just don’t know how the audience or judges will react when you begin grunting during the Cha-Cha. You know it is bound to happen. When you compete, the two-toned squeal is inevitable. It can not be helped. And the intensity you show; this will need to be tamed a tad. I honestly don’t think America is going to vote for your competition face, you will need to tone it down a bit.


It is my sincere hope you will be able to raise your game in this venue, afterall the dance floor is a hard court, which is one of your best surfaces. However, I must confess to being more than a wee bit skeptical. Honestly, the best chance you have is to draw Julianne Hough as a partner, but that scenario is simply not realistic. (Too bad!)

Still, we all remember when you burst on the tennis scene as teen. You were happy, smiling, giggly and quite endearing. If you can channel that same youthful enthusiasm and get used to high heels, well you might just have a chance. Obviously you are a long-shot, but I’ll be pulling for you Monica and I will secretly be hoping beyond hope that you are the woman who will make two-tone grunting as much of a cultural norm for women in ballroom dancing as you did in tennis. GO MONICA…UnnnnREEEEEEEEE!!!

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