It’s almost here. MxD season is about to begin in Atlanta’s premiere doubles league, ALTA. Many of my like-gender friends do not look forward to MxD, but I do. I may go so far as to say I enjoy it even more than men’s doubles. Why? Well, the food at the matches takes a huge jump in class. In men’s doubles the typical fare consists of beer, Krispy Kreme donuts an occasional banana, beer, perhaps a Kroger sub, beer, potato chips, and more beer. As a non-beer drinker, it is hard to appreciate the featured cuisine item of choice. In MxD we often find tablecloths, centerpieces and themes adorning expertly made main courses in crock pots, home-made baked goods, a wide variety of crackers and cheeses, and an assortment of beverages. Krispy Kremes are not welcome.

The tennis is also of a higher quality than many of my male friends expect. Let’s face it guys, in reality if you are not rated 4.5 or higher, you are a hacker. Women are quite capable of not only hanging with you in doubles, but taking you down hard! The gender difference is not nearly what one would imagine in terms of the overall skill set. In fact, some may argue that the women actually play SMARTER and create victories by allowing the opposing male to self-destruct. Heck there are many men’s matches that I walk away from thinking, I would have won that match easily with my MxD partner.

There is one fairly major difference when playing with the fairer gender, clothing. Generally men do not give two hoots about what they wear to a match, but with some women this is very different. A great deal of thought goes into the entire ensemble. In fact one player on our team calls me when we are scheduled to play together and tells me what colors to wear so we will not clash on the court. Okay, I completely get it that she does not want to be seen with a guy wearing worn out attire with spaghetti sauce stains who is proudly sporting a NASCAR hat, but the whole wardrobe thing puts a tremendous amount of stress on me.

I am the first to admit it. The wardrobe issues are causing me to lose sleep at night. Will my new tennis shirts from TJ Maxx pass the test this season? What will be in style for the women??? EEE GHADSS… I just had a harrowing thought. What if the Bethany Mattek line of apparel is finally in style this season? For those who do not follow the early rounds of tennis, you may have never heard of the quirky American. She is unfortunately more known for her “interesting” attire than her tennis. But what if by some chance the recession has caused women to lose all control of their mental faculties and follow her lead? I personally have no Earthly idea what will match gold lame or a fuschia French baret. Stacey and Clinton, HELP!!!!!!!